tangents.life.tangents

Somewhere along the way i lost myself.

2011-10-01T11:47:00.000-07:00

Thinking back is something that often happens. Some say that it isn't healthy cause all we have is the 'now'. I agree but cannot stop what must just be natural for me. As of now I feel somewhat in a rut. My outlook is different, my muse-s are different, I feel/am different. However I just more or less feel lost. As if I lost myself but my body still remains.

My ideal in life is when you are buzzing, not from substances, but rather from positive energies that fill your life. Nice people that have genuine hearts, conversation that challenges you but makes you better, creation that comes from within.

I continue to try to fight the negativity that is in my life and hope that in someway it is going to make me a better person. I try to see that my life could get worse, and that it isn' all that bad. Which I am totally aware of but as a creative and artistic person I feel at a stand still.

I have noticed that your surrounding and the place that you live in hugely important. I have found myself in an atmosphere where people have a specific ideal and if you don't fit it you are shit.

It has taken me a lot of self searching to find 'myself'. Now that I have I refuse to hide who I am or pretend I anything but. I went through a decent amount of rebelling, and I loved that course, I feel that I have many facets that make me, me.

I have always loved that saying those that matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter.- So true but when you are surrounded by the latter it makes your life...... challenging to say the least.

I continually try to figure out if it is something I have done, something.... who he hell knows. I am not sure. I try to be humble, respectful and I know when certain things are appropriate.

I think that hardest thing about where I am at this point in my life is plain and simple.

I feel lost.
but with optimistic eyes.

in the sorrow.

2011-02-20T14:49:00.000-08:00

I found something I love. I love to know how to do things. When you see something to know how to break it down- to the point where you can make it. I am sad. I found something I love but others are killing it for me. I have battled with this for some time now and am coming to the realization that it is not worth- unfortunately- the grief it is causing me. I sat here and randomly started to cry knowing that others can have such a horrid affect on someone. As I cleaned through my emails I saw the beginning. Where there was a glimmer and sparkle. Where I felt the world was my playground or at the very least going to be CRAZY exciting. I finally found something that I dream about that I pay attention to and.......... that I AM GOOD AT! it is breaking me to know that it is coming to an end. I MEAN it, my heart had never felt this. In a way that I just have to be done with it. Some of the people I have encountered on this trip have inspired me. Made me see things that I did in fact dream of as a little girl.

That point of realization has set in. It is there and now cannot go away. AND IT IS KILLING ME.

FUCK.

It is not healthy to be mean to others to feel better about yourself. period.

an ED-venture.

2010-12-16T18:07:00.000-08:00

The holidays, for me, always bring on the pondering.

Of things like.. the new year and life, what I am doing at the moment, what I hope to do.. etc. I seek many things in life, in my dreams most of those things are real. I love sleeping for this reason. I am thinking about taking on a new. I want to study the way people are people. I may express myself through the blog or to not piss some people through personal diaries.

I sometimes think I am a 'more' sensitive person, more in tune.. to how people talk, their body language, their tone, their eye contact. This has been something through out my entire life I have been on a heightened level of awareness, sometimes I see that as a negative because I read into things more then most people. Then I started to think maybe it is 'okay' to be in tune to these things and to know more of a science, if you can, behind how people are and maybe more so dissecting the why behind it.

The why in terms of insecurities, lack of understanding, jealousy, having different sense of humors.. etc. I decided to turn my sensitivities into an exploration of the people in my life and the people around me.

It feels right, so we shall see how this goes.

be aware of yourself.

The things in life...

2010-11-04T18:08:00.000-07:00

that make it a little better. a little worse. I tend to write with my heart and that sometimes can get me into trouble. But once that happens my heart starts to beat quicker, i get giggly, and sometime even get the goose bumps. This recent election reminds me of a time long ago where I was pretty disappointed with the outcome. Once again this happened... But like the U.K. said

AMERICA EXERCISES RIGHT TO PUNCH ITSELF IN THE NUTS
www.thedailymash.co.uk

This not only was a little over the top but made me smile bigger then I thought I would be able to. The humor is just dead on what makes my heart warm. A little twisted, maybe but..

<3 to a disappointing election that hopefully will only make us stronger! <3

ticktockticktock

2010-09-26T19:40:00.000-07:00

I use to see the world through different eyes. Sometimes I miss those eyes. they had such an endearing quality. whimsical words the swam and whirled and whipped away. oh those days. days where all you needed was a glass of wine, a contemplative mind, and others to bounce thoughts off of. a time where you questioned everything but in that question came purpose, passion and poise. Today is a different day, not better, not worse.

Time is a funny thing. it changes things. as with the seasons one cannot enjoy the current with out knowing the past. here is to a new season, a new time really.

let the leaves fall and crunch under your soles(souls).

The beautiful has flown.

2010-07-12T16:55:00.001-07:00

In life things make us think. Tick. Tock. In life fairness is not always granted or achieved. July 2nd was one of those days. A beautiful person has flown away. He had a good fight and lived life more then most people double his age do. To see the amount of people today that loved him, the kind words that fell off people lips, to see the sweet moments captured by a lens, showed his greatness. one would be so lucky to have 1/2 the people there. The tears rolled and the sniffles tried to be subdued by the soul could not allow. The way you see some one through others is a beautiful thing. The moments we create in life, although we sometimes think are minute, are so much more. The contemplation then discovered by a need. A wife and two girls left alone too early. A moment I cherish that I have been so lucky. The weirdest part is that the earth continues to circle. The leaves continue to fall. As do the tears. years pass, but a feeling you felt can last. A smell a sound brings you to them. I hope nothing but the best for his wife. I know she was blessed to have found the bird she found. His love, his life, his legacy... lives on for-ever-more.

Time to hold the one you love a little tighter.

Dream a little dream of you.

humor me. cleopatra.

2010-07-02T10:36:00.000-07:00

In life I generally try to surround myself with genuine people and people that aren't tools. ---If you will. S-s-s--s-s-s-s--s-s-ssss---s--s--s-sometime there is no option. This is one of my bitch blogs. I know super classy. However I get very disappointed with certain situations and find frustration in immaturity.

Life. Lessons. Love.

2010-05-13T19:47:00.000-07:00

Music. It is truly one of the most beautiful things. It can bring you back to a moment. Even with your eyes open, you can go so deep into a day dream that you feel you could touch the moment. There are times that confuse me. Times that at the time confused me. I was in a whirlwind of bliss and haze. Which I think is when I live at my fullest.

The days are brighter then before.

2010-02-17T15:39:00.000-08:00

Blog. Blog. Blog. blog. blog. blog.b.l.o.g
It seems like the air is getting crisper. More vibrant. more full of life, not stale cold. My practice continues to get better. I fret less. I love more. and more. and more. more. more.

Music lately has been a large part of the day. I find myself staying true to the artist and appreciating the art work and the physical form of having something in my hand to show for. I just don't think I am always ready for all the advances. I tend to always be nostalgic for the physical. wether it be a person, a letter, a book, a CD.

I hope to finally be picking up an instrument. My brother recently picked up the guitar and is excelling quickly. What couple doesn't fantasize about having a two person band? That is what I thought.

I am falling deep deep deeper into love with my career. I learn so much and find so much of it to be useful for different aspects of life. I hope to at some point in life be able to afford a dress form so I can start a whimsical dance with creating clothing I dream up in my head. Where else would I dream it?

The sky looked something of a picturesque picture. Where it is just the right color of blue and white clouds. Where you feel if you reach out you could almost touch it. but then you do, only to find out it lays somewhere in your dreams. I could almost feel spring today because of the 30˚ temps.
I miss my family dearly. They are more then just family or friends. It is hard to put a word to it as I don't really think a word has yet to be made for our relation to one another.

Bloom. blooming. bloomed.

Thus came the bliss.

2010-02-07T06:31:00.000-08:00

I surprised myself by not writing about this earlier. Then I reflected, and noticed that it is because I have been so busy and fulfilled! I got a new job. I work now at a wonderful little shop that does upholstery and custom furniture. Although we do not have a wood shop at our store we have many tools that are also found in a wood shop. So far I have done 6 slip seats (dining), I have completely rebuilt a settee- the webbing, spring tying, padding,cover it, cover it, cover it! I have done two more seats, tore down a hell lot of chairs, And now am working on a beautiful sofa, same as the settee, but huge!

During my first two weeks my hands we so swollen that I would wake up having them numb. They looked like sausages. With cuts everywhere my hands are oddly happy. It is something that is quite lovely to be able to say that you love your job, and to be happy to go to work on monday rather then dread it.

Future planning.
I want to pick up tennis this summer.

the time has come..

2009-12-30T11:15:00.000-08:00

for one and all. to play some ball.

it is going to be a great thing for this lady!

Have you forgotten how to love yourself.

2009-11-23T15:43:00.000-08:00

One always tries to be thankful. Why, because it makes life easier if you choose to look at life in a 'positive' light. Is this easy? no. Finding that this point in life is one of the craziest. Some things in your life begin to settle in a pot o bliss, while others go DRAMATICALLY wrong. To find the balance in life is one thing that I am not sure will ever be achieved. I think that some may get closer then others but never fully there. I choose to do things I love, things that I cannot even really put into words what it does for me. The meditative quality that comes over me is the closest I have come to Euphoria. I found my thing that makes me truly tick. besides my husband! The only things that makes it tough is how to bring it to be apart of my every day life. $$

~~This time of year is always a cluster fuck, with holidays that bring on too much stress then good at times. To have to choose between time with families and then having gui....~~

I don't mean to be all somber, but sometimes I feel that is where I perform at my best, it is a strange ordeal that I for myself can only understand.

The song that brings me to my best, Red House Painters- Have you forgotten.

I miss my friends terribly and love them more then they could ever know. K&J.

Anyways.

I choose not to give up on my love.

Salude to Woodworking.

It only seems appropriate!

2009-08-26T19:43:00.001-07:00

Went to the movie Julie/Julia.. It only seems appropriate to go to the computer after that movie. It was fantastic and in some respect I find myself in a very similar situation as Julia.. anyways. I chose my focus to remain on furniture, since it is what has been my passion all through life. When I thought I wanted to be in interior design student the one thing that kept me in it was the furniture. I would sketch chair after chair, couch after couch. I have an odd fascination in my art work with tactile features and texture. In sculpture class I always sculpted furniture. As the years have passed I have a deeper appreciation for more detailed woodworking and furniture, bringing me to Victorian, French Country style.

Over all I have had this evolution of a love for furniture without ever really being aware of 'it' being the thing that pulled me into all sorts of art mediums. I am fortunate enough to be taking a class on learning how to upholster. I think it will compliment my woodworking skills very nicely. I choose to be a person that does not give up on my dream and what really makes me tick and smile on the inside.

For this movie I challenge everyone that is finding them self in a hard place in life and see it, if it can only bring you the motivation it has brought me this evening.

Thank you to Julia and Julie.

in the change of things. For the good.

2009-08-13T08:44:00.000-07:00

It seems to be a moment where I am at a loss for words. Knowing that there are some things in life that need a change to be at our strongest.

I am not even going to try, but change is a comin'

You can help Others!

2009-04-24T06:32:00.000-07:00

I decided to join an MS walk. My mother grew up with a close friend. Their families were friends and they were the best of friends. Mary is one of the most beautiful souls that I have ever met and she means a lot to me. She has come to holiday get togethers and she enlightens everyone she meets. She has a certain knowledge of the world that comes from compassion that most people can never get to. Her heart is a unique thing and for her inspiration in my life I want to pay it forward to her and people like her! She has been diagnosed with MS for some time now.

My fathers long time friend and my godfather Ken also has been diagnosed with MS. He is a lovely gent and has love for everyone around him. He gives great bear hugs and sincerely cares about people. Over time it has slowed him down and has been lessening him to be able to do the things he loves most. Hunting, running around with German shorthairs and his family.

These people mean a great deal to me.

Seeing that my birthday is the day before the Madison MS walk I only thought it was appropriate that I start my 24 years of living in their names to give support and some sort of love that I have always felt was gained from them. These people are special, not because of MS it is just a part of their life that they refuse to bog them down.

We could all learn a lesson from these two beautiful people!

If you would like to donate to my walk that would be more then appreciated and know that it is going to a great cause and from one heart to another!

Thank you for your time.

Here is the link to my page, I just set it up. Lets see what we can do.

share the love

Exhausted with love.

2009-03-12T16:26:00.000-07:00

What a few days it had been. Rishi our great Pyrenees puppy arrived on Tuesday at 5. Needless to say there has been a lack of sleep in mark and my life! She is great, huge already large bones and beautiful. With almost too many toys surrounding her she lies asleep. With taking a few days off work to ensure our baby adjusts well I have been through 2 Steve Martin films. Yes I love his work... housesitter, which is my favorite and Roxanne. With many trips out to the potty and some successful and some not, we are seeing progress. With Rishi any progress we get excited about. I cannot even believe what it must like to have babies. That will not occur for us for a VERY long time, no one should expect it within the next 5 years at least. I don't know if it is my job or what but I am not the biggest fan of little kids.. Wait yes, I know it is my job.

The cats keep hissing or hiding from Rishi, they are pissed. Tazo is being better then Sacha which we did not see coming. Overall I want to pass out at any chance I can. I am excited for the next phase of puppy hood.. where she can hold her bladder better! Next week we will be rearing to go for another vet visit for her second round of shots! yippeeeee!

I must admit when she lies there passed out I just could squeeze her she is just SO cute!

It is time to get jealous!

2009-02-22T18:06:00.000-08:00

That is right. This is Rishi. The Great Pyrenees breed has been around since 1800 b.c. that is right. I will have a goddess in my casa!

bigger things.

2009-01-26T12:53:00.000-08:00

I hear of these great people that I dont even know, yet they touch my life and make me yearn for something greater, greater in the sense that I too can touch others lives and change/help them in their life. I feel like ever since I became aware this has been my greatest passion to strive towards. I want to get out there, have my voice heard. I dont want to be a shadow, I dont want to be an accessory. I want to be me a person that cares.

enough said

2009-01-19T07:18:00.000-08:00

I am quite happy to say that this is my first post being (finally) a post-grad! Things are getting exciting. Seeing people that we have been wanting to hang out with in a long while! Dinner, drinks, snowshoes, houses, apartments, new beds, dreaming of backpacking! Life. Living. Trying to find my inner divine, cleaning, designing, painting. LIFE. I am quite thrilled that mark and I now are able to get out and enjoy each other with my school being done, his seasons over for a few months, and wedding planning, things are starting to get fun!

Trying to find my niche with getting back into shape that makes one thrive more and have more energy.

its close.

2008-12-09T11:49:00.000-08:00

So close. i am a little nervous, however ready for the end. The trip has been an unexpected ride with going to 4 schools, and pushing in so many classes to just rid myself of this.

ALMOST there.

times through tea.

2008-11-26T11:39:00.000-08:00

Today I decided to really clean. That normally means your come upon things in your past that you either put away for a reason, hide, or something that you thought at one moment I will need this or see it as something valuable. Something provoked me to go through my tea box. Yes, I love tea that much. Alone in that one box there were treasures and things one only wishes they do not have to think of again. I found letters I wrote from college. Tea that I shared numerous conversations and depth with. (my favorite teas) Then I found my Zen Dream tea. Which I have had since I was in high school. It reminds me of art class, since that is all I really did. I opened the tin only to find 2 packets left, but the smell brought me back to the moment and place. I closed my eyes and I was there. My Rishi tea brings me to a certain movie. I think of how tea has been a large part of my life. Once I fell for someone cause he offered me tea as a beverage, hot tea... it can do wonders for me.

There is something about the process of the person growing the plant, letting it age to the proper time, then picking it by hand, with love and grace, then choosing the type of tea, then bagging it or having it be loose, then to the person and who they share it with. No wonder the English love their tea as much as they do, its not about just the tea its about the experience. the mood it brings the conversations that occur, the love of connectedness that flows.

Something about process in most things I hold near, and sometimes I think people could appreciate life more if they just think about the things they have and how so many people have been apart of these things.

To you sip your tea.

to top it off I am watching before sunrise. bliss

it will be divine.

2008-11-20T19:55:00.000-08:00

it is close, I think i am ready, i am ready. i cannot wait. I will be able to breathe. I am going to kick its ass.

It will simply be wonderful.

the end to a stressful time.

Blissssssssssssssssssssss.

beautiful nostalgia.

2008-11-12T12:52:00.000-08:00

my new favorite artist.

JOHN DERIAN

It is what I dream of.

Michi- gan

2008-11-12T09:42:00.001-08:00

This past weekend Mark and I went to Michigan, Traverse City. The Iceman was underway and was not so icy, well till the end of the race at least. It was a cold awakening that progressed over the three days. The drive was long but full of things to look at like the beautiful water, trees, and other ridiculous sign-age! It seemed like a good race to bring a dog to but I was empty handed. Maybe next year. We however did miss the dog fair here in WI.

This week has been consumed with wood working, staining, and cutting. Getting ready for the holidays, getting in trouble at work, oops.. it was nothing, but emotions. ha. Trying to kick my project in the ass by getting done quickly!! I hope that it all goes smoothly, it is coming together. Hopefully I can make my little sample pieces into something beautiful. Our house is clean, but not our clothes.

Is snow ah coming?

Ditty Bop

2008-11-06T15:16:00.000-08:00

Days fly, with moments that take your attention. As you pass by leaves upon leaves and the oddly warm breeze blows by you, breathing seems a little easier. Sometimes if we are treated well with weather we can actually enjoy what is to come. Truthfully I cannot wait for snow shoeing and I hope that if we have a winter it is worth it. I had one of the best experiences yesterday, I would like to thank Cindy, so barley knows me but went out of her way to give great advise. Thus I met three Newfoundlands and I wish I could really put my elation into words, I was encompassed by three overly smart, knowing beings. It was almost spiritual, it overwhelmed me in a great way, I couldn't stop smiling!

For me I hope for simple things in life.
a garden
a puppy
walking in a field
doing yoga on a rock near water
sipping tea outside looking at mother nature
laughs
being with family
cooking and seeing people enjoy it
creating things
any animal
Just the beautiful life

This weekend will be a road trip to the lonely area of traverse city

Which I must say I am quite excited for.

Dreams

2008-10-29T07:22:00.000-07:00

I love that dreams have no hold back. This could be an enjoyable thing or not. I like there there are no boundaries to dreams, who is in it (dead or alive)(if you know them or just have seen them) the places you can go..

2008-10-24T20:11:00.000-07:00

My time has been occupied in this. And truthfully it makes me really happy I cannot wait to have one of my own. I cannot wait for mark and I more over!

Starting to take things into my own hand, trying to change the things that do not satisfy my needs. I am speaking up for me.

There comes a time in life where one should not settle, one should explore and take in the beauty this world has to offer. In life family is the most important thing. Really I cannot think of anything more important when it comes down to it.

And I love my almost husband SO much.

loss of words.

2008-10-11T14:00:00.000-07:00

As I persue repositioning my priotities your eyes really begin to open. what you want to control to be in your near future, if you will, though control may not be the 'right' wording.

I wish that I could even put it into words.

life is like..

2008-08-13T22:34:00.000-07:00

a competition. You never know what you are going to get. women are hard to understand i think in a way we don't even understand ourselves.(at times) and at others we totally 'know' what we think. I have had a life full of dramatic women and have rid myself of that ever since i broke free. However it is hard for 'us' to find women that we enjoy minus all the bull shit. I have always been a fighter and always been feisty. It is something that hockey taught me for ten years. Once that competition was over the pent up aggression was channeled no where. I tries biking to relieve my frustration but have never been great at solo sports.

On the other hand i have a wedding to plan and i think i am the worst bride to go down in history, I never dreamt of my wedding day and how it was going to be but i fantasized about a house and a life their after... isn't that why we get married for the after part? Thus many decision leave me utterly confused and thinking.. elope??

As women we try to feed our souls with things that come in the material sense, if it is bikes, shoes, clothing, or how many men hit on us we tend to feel better about ourselves, but do we really? Insecurities come in and go like we never knew what hit us.

Then you get hit by a friends situation or loosing a child hood animal that you swore could understand you.

Sometimes I feel that I have a sixth sense, with knowing my parents sold their house the morning they got an offer, knowing that my long life friend my beloved dog died.. etc. Sometimes it is something in ourselves that just knows when something catastrophic happened.

In life all i ache for is love, a home that feels like 'home'. Someone and something I am passionate about and family.

Sometimes a good night with beer, wine and friends and family is all you need, only to realise that this will soon be a distant memory and that you should have taken the time to take a deep breath and enjoy the beauty in the moment. I know I can learn from this time and time again and that things in the material sense do not actually make me happy but mask something that needs to be revisited and that we are all unique in our own ways and that no one is 'better' then the other.

that our life could be much harder, difficult and that what we currently have is a beautiful thing.

If we could only open our eyes, and realise we are only in the shadow of our self.

moving on up.

2008-06-03T09:59:00.000-07:00

Since the knowing of my friend steve and his condition all I could do was be proactive. I didnt know where to channel my pent up anxiety about my friend and needed to feel like i could do something when we werent allowed to visit him in his condition. Friends, family, cyclists, coworkers, business people, screen printers.. everyone has shown love like you sometime forget can be displayed. It has made the whole process of the situation easier, on everyone. I hope you all know that with supporting Steve and his family he has shown huge strides and progress. I know a thank you is a thank you but if words could go just beyond that and have you all realise that that is the gratitude i have for you all then i could be pleased.

His mom hunted me down with stopping at my old bike shop machinery row and they were helpful enough to tell her where i was. fortunately she found me. It was the first time I met her and she is such a beautiful person. With much talking, her buying a surly cycling cap for steve, and much hugs it was just what the doctors ordered for both of us. She came to say that steve wanted me to visit and he was really excited. Obviously tears could help but come once she left. I was so touched that she sought me out. Today I plan on bowing out od the bike shop a for a while so i can go and get some much needed time in with Steve.

I have a huge box full of goodies with more coming!

Thanks again and thanks to you who have donated to his school fund! You are amazing.

come together!

2008-05-27T19:32:00.000-07:00

The beatles said it the best...

Its time to do something selfless for someone that needs to think of themself.

The "Steve Smith Education Fund" has been established at the M&I Bank.

If you choose to help the Smith family, please send a check made payable to the "Steve Smith Education Fund" to:
M&I Bank
Attention: Jan Thurier
1245 Main Street
Stevens Point, WI 54481

Any amount would be more then none!

Thanks for your time and compassion.

shall we end on another beatles note.

Here comes the sun, here comes the sun,
And I say it's all right.
Little darling it's been a long cold lonely winter,
Little darling it feels like years since it's been here.
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun,
And I say it's all right.
Little darling the smiles returning to their faces,
Little darling it seems like it's years since it's been here,
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun,
And I say it's all right.
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes.
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes.
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes.
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes.
Little darling I feel that ice is slowly melting,
Little darling it seems like years since it's been clear,
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun,
It's all right, it's all right.

Lets do something good!

my heros.

2008-05-23T17:28:00.000-07:00

help steve fight!

2008-05-23T08:24:00.000-07:00

Steve (the one in the cycling cap) is a really great friend of mine from stevens point. He is really really into biking. He is the biker that lives for one more second with the air in his face the pedal rotation in full force and just being free. I know as a large biking community bike support helps in the best kinds of ways. Steve recently got in to a gnarly bike car accident where he was hit by a cement truck in stevens point wi. He is an amazing artist and graphic designer. This accident has broken his neck, fucked up his spinal cord, he has pnemonia in both lungs, facial fractures and a broke arm. His jaw is wired shut and fortunately he wrote some words yesterday. Steve is and always will be one of the best people i know. He is completely himself and doesnt alter it to be someone that he is not.

As i got news of this on this past wednesday I am trying to pull every damn string i possibley can. To have this diagnosis of paralization something that is just a barrier in a course, a rock garden in a mountain bike race, a tight gap in a crit, a wrong turn in an alley cat. He as a passionate biker will not settle and I want to ensure that he knows that the bike world is routing for him and that people believe in him.

If there is any shwag and thing that you all can give up to motivate my "little brother" steve that would be much appreciated. I am going to try to get him sore rad bkb, twin 6 and swobo goodies since those places tend to care about the biking enthusiasts.

Thank you and please do email me if you have anything you would like to give to support steve. he would be stoked about anything bike. email (mm.rutz@gmail.com)

With love and compassion.

meghan

life brings many changes.

2008-05-20T08:08:00.001-07:00

Life has many changes that one does not see coming. some come are anticipated but still not realized some come completely from the left field. we stay positive because that is the only truth that we know. With summer starting a graduation somewhat behind us life feels unknown. It has not hit me yet that there is a break and a new life beginning. I have my health and my loved ones and I am grateful for that. Now I have time to go bike to work and enjoy those rides. The farmers market will be my summer high and the new kitchen aid mixer was an unexpected wonderful gift. I stay positive cause that is the only thing that makes hard situations bearable. i try to hang my head high not low. Think about the great possibilities that lie ahead.

Heading to my first wors race of the year was exciting. I forgot what i packed in prep for the boy to hurt himself, stay hydrated etc. After all Amanda and I are professional nutrition givers aka water girls.

With all sorts of family recently in i had a fix of the good ol laughter and love. They headed back to Seattle, park falls, Minneapolis but the time was much needed.

As always i have my biggest fan and supporter mark by my side. i can not even begin to put my gratitude to that man into words. it simply cannot be. when i fall he falls and holds me.

****

2008-05-12T16:43:00.001-07:00

un mas.

i would like to thank the fans of my blog.

thank you...

-mark.
-
-

whole wheat bagel and pb.

2008-05-04T06:45:00.000-07:00

As of late i have been nothing short of busy. Woodworking, my passion is taking up all of my time. I like it it just sucks that there are other things that also need my time. For instance Economics. As we near the end of the semester everything becomes a blur. wake at nearly 5 in the morning and stay up being busy the whole day till past midnight. my legs kill my wrist has a kink from the orbital sander. some new loves have come into my life, such as polyurathane, steel wool, vino max, my woodworking ninja buddies. I will miss a lot of the grad students that i have become close to. Wood working is one of the most beautiful things. I am rambeling with out it really making sense. It shows a sense of my state as of late. I get to see my family which will be devine. I didnt even get a chance to talk to my friends and family on my birthday this past friday. oh crazy crazy life will there be an end?

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?

to close for comfort.

2008-04-03T12:42:00.000-07:00

These days crazy thing occur more often then not. Madison has a good track record for the most part, that doesnt mean that shit cant happen and doesnt. As anyone in the area that watch the news or go online most likely heard of the recent murder on Doty st. The creepy part for me is that that is the apartment that I lived in for a year previously. I had homless people digging through the garbage outside my window at all hours of the day. While biking home from work had crazy's yelling and i just kept pedaling. To know what the place is and have lived their is crazy. To know that a young beautiful girl lost her life thier is even scarier. To know she was one of the groups that came through the house to see if they wanted to rent, is chilling. Its a sad time for madison and an unfortunate one for a woman and her family.

it makes you think..

spinning spinning. and smile.

2008-03-24T06:55:00.000-07:00

This past week i was fortunate enough to be in a sunny state of florida. I was with my friend lisa and we went to visit her mama. the week was just what i needed a warm blanket of sun upon my skin the sounds of water. Yoga was the most occuring activity. We went to the everglades and took a venture with the aligators on an air boat. Our gide was a local probably since he was young he was wipping shitties and trying to get us muddy it was more then i expected. check off the life list. A quick drive another day brought us to a beach that wasnt packed with the crazy spring breakers it was relaxing. as i greeted to ocean with spinning with a smile from one to the other i couldnt help myself but feel one with the earth one with myself. I spun with no care of the people around me with no care in the world. I lived in the moment and as i sit here typing i can shut my eyes and fall back to that moment. I had a few moments of silence for the people that have inspired me in my life while standing in the ocean and looking at the sun. I have never had such a serene and spiritual experince in the water. I know why so many people love it so passionately. new ideas for tattoos has sprung. I was greeted when i came back to the midwest with a large snow storm. not what i was hoping for but we have learned to take it day by day.

This break was just what i needed to come back and hammer out my last semester with positive energy.

my goals once i am done, get a puppy, become certified to be a yoga instructor. and live. pictures will come of a african birdie and some puppies.

some where over the rainbow.

2008-03-12T09:05:00.001-07:00

In loving memory Gelsy Verna 1961-2008. RIP.

the never ending shit run.

2008-03-11T14:19:00.003-07:00

i am exhausted. I wish i could float above all this craziness and breathe.

then to now.

2008-03-02T06:36:00.000-08:00

Where my blog has lacked is where my wood creating has flourished. My grandpa is a great carpenter and its something that has been passed down the family, with out one being placed in my fathers generation, Maybe it jumped to me? As I dab my hand in, at creating lighting fixtures and relating it to words I found my inspiration where i normally do, mustaches. It is a mustache sconce. (light fixture that hangs on the wall). With having to mold bend near 20 pieces.. I am ready for the home stretch. This semester is my final semester before I graduate this may. There are mixed feelings.. do i get all i can out of it and have no life (the path i am currently taking) or do I just float on and enjoy my life also... ? That is the question TO BE OR NOT TO BE, is something it always tend to come down to. Shakespeare was a very wise man and very fluid.

The people in your life make or break you and I am fortunate to have surrounded myself with the ones that make you. When i am exhausted and acting fucking nuts they settle me. When i am about to cry because of this or that they make me laugh.

In my area of screen printing -due to my want for spring- I have dabbed my hands in making clothing, mainly dresses, then printing on them for my work. This is a very rewarding way to go about it yet all at the same time consuming.

Currently I have a piece in a gallery, "love is a disease" one of my prints... Very exciting.

as i become closer i will take a venture to a warm state to the South east and be able to wear my dresses and shirts and have the sun lay gently upon my skin.

family root you into a person you are and want to be. They love you no matter their differences. being together gives strength.

dina nina ninah ni nah nooooeeaa

2008-01-22T18:40:00.000-08:00

cat clocks

2008-01-15T07:07:00.001-08:00

going to start the spring semester and my last semester! cant wait for the future. yoga. dome home. tattoos. life. living. only time will bring me there.

Ionizes & Atomizes

2008-01-04T08:31:00.000-08:00

change of the year. change of the job. all comes and all goes. started the new year with a fun bash with fire, beer & wine, make out sessions, skillz that came out of RAD and bikes bikes bikes. What more could one ask for. Two first days at my new job Trek the improvement from my previous is already showing with high beams. And i must say i fucking love it thus far. the people are so into bikes and it makes all the passion seep back in, and this is the slow time of year. My boss is letting me borrow his 1x1 original surly rat ride for the winter for a commuter since the hall is a bit further. Get some fatty tires that dont interfere with the breaks and its go time.

the rainy city.

2007-12-27T13:03:00.000-08:00

Been here since the 18th of december. The weather with no surprise has been almost always rainy. some threat of having snow which i heard is something that shuts the whole place down. Surprising coming from the midwest. ha.
Been busy and bored for my time here. but nonetheless it has been a nice vacation. Yesterday I visited a sweet alpaca farm where i got to play with two huge herd dogs that kept jumping on me and could take me down with out any effort. The the cat that jumped on the barn post to get some of the famous cat petting from me. i was about to put it in my bag since i miss my two cats at home. The trip is ending tomorrow morning. I will miss it here however i have been ready to come home. With one semester down this academic year that means one more to school freedom at least for a while. WHICH will fucking be glorious. I got super good grades and I was happily surprised since i thought i was going to fail two classes and i ended up getting a c and bc along with three A's and a B. FUCK YEAH.

Ready to start a new job and have direct deposit payment methods. No more fucking getting a check handed to me by a creepy old man!

anyways. The holiday went quickly, as always happen i will get some pictures up of the alpacas and dogs and cat. they were the nicest animals i have ever encountered.

washington is magical there isnt really a way to describe it. the trees have something about them and through out the whole place there is something really beautiful, maybe its the outdoorsy-ness, or the nice people or the nature itself(which i think it must be) even though it would be amazing to live here it would be so expensive and that is not the best thing.

Hope you all had a nice holiday, with whatever you celebrate and hope you have a lovely 08'

almost clear.

2007-12-16T16:00:00.000-08:00

Wow. where the time has gone no one knows. The second part of the holidays is reering its head. I think that i am nowhere near ready for this. The University of Madison Wisconsin loves to end the semester as close to the celebrating as they possibly can. Tomorrow i will be done with exams and such and i am hoping for passing grades tomorrow. Going out with a bang doesnt always happen.
Words cant even begin to explain how excited i will be to have this semester under my belt. Then off to Washington, which is going to be lovely! A nice weeks break will be just what i need. the feeling of fatigue may, just may, leave my presence for a little while at least.
Almost there, the light is near, as mark is off in Kansas at the moment, it has given time to not be distracted which was probably a good thing even though I am ready for the season to be over. We are thinking of picking up nordic sking to get out ass beating in that way, which due to our large amount of snow seems only fitting. Creativity will flow on its own will this break which is always nice.

Needing a job is becoming more apparent as presents are almost out of thought with the lack of money I have. Soon, soon.

A euphoric smile will most likely be on my face tomorrow night at around 10 when I get done with my finals. Then a bottle of vino will be in my belly then off on a plane. Somewhere in there I will be doing 'christmas' with my marker. Then packing, dont really know how it will all work out with mark getting home late tonight and probably passing out till a good hour in the afternoon.

Wish me luck on my exams I NEED IT!

have a wonderful holiday with whatever you celebrate! If you know cool bike shops in Washington lemme know! I am going to be perusing.

The next few post will have pictures that are starting to influence my art work.

tabletion.

2007-12-09T08:04:00.000-08:00

I have been working on this project around three-four weeks.

ITs theme is eco-friendly.
The wood is a local ash.
I tried to utilize it as best i could, so i still have a bit let over. I altered the dimensions of the design a bit.
There will also be a bamboo planter in the center hole.
I used a linseed oil to protect the wood and as the finisher. It says on the container, safe for the environment.

I now just want to bring it home!

completion feels beautiful.

tis the season

2007-11-29T06:46:00.001-08:00

to be busy. With two and a half more weeks of this semester left things are getting crazy! But i can be more happy, to see it come to an end. Thus meaning only one more semester if all things work out to plan. Holidays went quickly with another rearing its head. the absence of snow is just about amazing for this time of year. With out having a job coming up with christmas gifts this year is going to be extra thoughtful and creative! Coffee has been flowing through my body as a second source for vitality than blood. selling some stuff on ebay to help with living costs. we don't really need all that we have, most is frivolous anyways.
In art at the moment i am doing two things i passionately love, one being woodworking. I dont know how long its been since i have worked with my hands in art, around 2-3. and furniture has always been my passion for years. the other being printing. moving on to advance classes for both trades will further my work and experiences.

things left, this is going to sound really fun to those of you lucky enough to be out of school already.

three papers.
three exams
10 prints
completion of one table.
study.
AND A PARTRIDGE IN A PEAR TREE.

Oh Sun Prairie.

2007-11-19T16:21:00.000-08:00

Wow I cant not do it. Double negative, i know annoying but in all sensarity I just drink too much there. Yearly. Maybe its the crowd maybe its the bikes maybe its the cow bells. Its all, all of it. Shaw was there. A huge fun crew. Beers were had, thanks to shaw, andrew and someone handed me one later that i cannot recollect at all, my bad. Thanks the Zach for the sailor jerry and ginger ale. Holy shit, i have proven that run and meghan are not the best of friends. Thanks to Dan and Jen the two fabulous hosts for the shot, if my life was at stake i would say it was tequilia but literally after that moment everything became hazy. These photos up above i had no idea i took them till this morning! crazy. Thanks to mark for dealing with my drunk ass. For all the friends that i normally dont see now due to not working at the row anymore. And to bikes most of all to have a crazy beautiful crew that loves it more then they sometimes know.

D pow and Jen for supplying some food that went into my belly, i remember refried beans and chips and mark for making me eat a cup cake. Holy shit.

my grandma.

2007-11-10T12:52:00.001-08:00

was beautiful. in the middle.

the love.

2007-11-08T08:13:00.000-08:00

how beautiful it is.

2007-10-28T17:31:00.000-07:00

to help mother nature. To be aware of your footprint and to make as little of a mark as possible.

i will give some facts that are helpful for a greener living soon.

one start composting!

love is a disease

2007-10-23T19:35:00.001-07:00

oh here ye here ye.

2007-10-23T14:15:00.001-07:00

i love when you look at what you say your passions are and then realize how long its actually been since you have enjoyed them. Tonight is my lovely geography exam, i find all the information extremely informative and interesting however my mind does not like exams- especially multiple choice. So we shall see how that goes. Tonight will bring a photo session to dive into a new project for screen printing. I cannot believe how my semester jut refuses to let up, even for one breath. I will be able to go to my first cross race of this season, it will be weird, i am sure i will be all sad that i am not racing this year. What can you do? Over all i am just trying to stay alive. I got to do some yoga this morning and it was lovely. I just need to keep up on my stuff.

AOMIII is coming over tonight to pick up a painting we have of his for a show, dont know the specifics yet but once i do i will announce, its always good to show support and why not let your eyes have some aesthetic colorful dancing strokes in front of them. Arts shit is to say the least amazing.

To life and its obstacles and art.

deep conversations.

2007-10-21T12:47:00.000-07:00

last night headed to the WORS banquet where wine beer and laughs were had. Yoga positions came up as i look for a new job. shwag autographs from the famous boys were signed. raccoon hunt up a tree also occurred as our grand exit from the century world building. a nice quick car ride of 'would you rather' and 'deep conversations' happened.

It all started when we were driving in the car of the lovely brian matter. jesse shotgun amanda and i on either side of marko- in the middle. talk of bikes, bike love, nose hairs, and oddly ball sacks. -dont ask- arrived headed right to the bar for nicely and full fresh cup of pinot noir. and the boys went for the beer. sat realized we needed some food. sat. Landon and his lady came over to talk, as small boys came to get the studs autographs. soon the wine kept filling and lowering. We sat and talked about work and not work. bike and not bikes. yoga came up because amanda and i love it two seconds later jesse amanda and i all have our legs over our head in a one legged pretzel contraption. talk about circus freaks! FUCK YEAH. I one day will be a blissful yoga teacher to help and draw passion into peoples lives. that is where all the craziness started at night. marko came with 50 big dollas and came home with a few dollar bills. as the guys ran up to get their goodies for a quick foto op. then off for home. As we jump in the car we notice a cuddly friendly coon. Instead of just take a picture of it-which they did- they also ran after it. the car ride soon began with -would you rather- and -deep conversations- the trip was fast and i slowly am remembering the things that occurred. sometimes you need a night to let go with some of the best people to do it.

matter marko jesse and amanda.

To WORS awards.

my blogs never make much sense.

2007-10-20T14:03:00.000-07:00

the things you learn are sometimes in the moment hard, but for the long run you learn the most from. started as a great morning, where fresh fruits and veggies were colorful and vibrant. tea for two talks of wedding plans and life. off to work. HA. started good. then fell into hell. no need to discuss further. I think my towels were stolen from the laundry machines in the basement.

Fuck this, a new life is starting. Tonight shall be a blast, the WORS banquet where i hope to have some beers and lay back and enjoy my freedom. For the hunt is next.

A flying squirrel.

2007-10-16T12:06:00.000-07:00

time for change.

2007-09-25T11:29:00.000-07:00

just as the season is rearing its beautiful head, there is change in the air. The crisp blue skies, the swirling crunchy colorful leaves on the ground. The flux in weather. Cyclocross season coming, not going to be a part of this year due to a shortage of money surplus. Selling some bikes selling stuff I dont use. Feels good to get ride of some things. Warm tea sees to be craved more and more. Hot chai teas with soy milk. Red wines warm meals. School is taking control of my time but i am taking control of school. Trying to stay on top with the last punch if it were a never ending boxing match. An Atumn cold has reared its way into my body but Echinacea pills trickle down my throat with healing power. Markos tattoo continues to be delayed, which is unfortunate. the treadmill keeps my feet busy.

I am waiting for the day to be able to lay in the crunch leaves.

inspiration.

2007-09-13T07:04:00.000-07:00

cherry blossoms. sailor Jerry pin up head view. Asian furniture and dishware. friends. staying on top of things. mullets. johnny cash. lali puna. dinglespeeds. stickers (with obscene messages). speaking out loud. 17 days. love. family. cats. scissors. colors. inks. words. motivation. coffee. tea. running. my treadmill. mark/aka mullet king. and sleep. wood, bamboo and hickory are my favorites at the moment. i also like walnut.

and so it goes.

2007-09-11T09:01:00.000-07:00

Appointment set for the 30th. no one knows. school is in full throttle, which is leading me to too much coffee consumption, more stress. ITs bringing my riding down to strictly commuting. Been running on our treadmill a bit lately which has been nice due to our on off weather patterns. Money running low, as it always tends to. motivation...

to graduate.

marko

2007-09-03T15:04:00.000-07:00

i know the news of a black heart and a black rainbow, however the words should only be spoken from the man himself, it only seems right. His venture, his passion, his wheel. He is stuck in London right now and all i want is for him to be home. I also know that is all he wants.

To getting marko home, cheers. he'll update you tomorrow night.

2007-08-27T18:38:00.000-07:00

change in progress. this past weekend came another WORS series, the last of the marathons. where the boys tended to their normal glitter. 1 jesse, 2 matter, 3 markO. looked like a hellish race that i was happy not to take a bite at.

a lot coming up. my anual family fest. i am so excited to dance with mother nature this whole weekend. marko will as many know be twirling on his pedals in a far away place called scotland. super excited for him and a little sad i couldnt experience it with him, but money is money and i have a lack of it.

the bike store has really winded down which is to say nice because i am physically and mentally exhausted from our sale and my busy summer.

it was nice to see marcia and the sharps and be with amanda as we almost puked or peed with nervous energy for the boys.

congrats to all on the race and wish mark safe travels and happy healing on his hand.

movin on up

2007-08-22T09:02:00.000-07:00

so with finally getting the Internet hooked up and missing a WORS race i feel a bit behind. i fell in love with a new bike, and i damn sure hope that the pretty basket comes with it. hair changes are to be made soon, actually rather excited. needing art in my system almost a necessary function. mark and i moving to a new location gnarly in the good sense. location beautiful. i cannot wait to have fall colors surrounding us. its been a busy week. bike shop sale came to an end, which was a lovely thing. needing something new- a must. marker(0) going to Scotland in a week and everyone that has supported him thus far is a lovely person, and who will still be before the race is more adrenaline added to his fire.

thats really all i have for now or all i want to write. cheers my dears.

esquela es finito.

2007-08-10T06:56:00.001-07:00

school is over. relief is had. we are coming up on moving soon. moving as mark and i have been talking about has been rearing its ugly head so much lately. i don't even want to count the times i have moved in the past 6 years. its disgusting really. were stoked about this place though. nice kitchen, which i cannot wait for, be ready for the dinner invites. the new lalonde lovers -jesse and amanda- have been more then nice to store our bikes and some other goodies while handing out the wine glasses and coffee pumpers. big super sale is on at work which means long hours and many barterers. everyone knows those are my favorite. as i am sure most have read jesse and marko took the top two spots at the last wors race leaving their lovers a little teary eyed. matter did a great job coming in third with ronsta killin it in 4th. headed over to fandangos house for a little shenanigan. super fun, more brats beers and burgers.

24-9

2007-07-30T18:42:00.000-07:00

photo stolen from matter

pretty much sums it up. i was the lucky one to be able to enjoy a night lap. i actually loved it. i bonked pretty hard at the second to last part of the single track, where matter passed me and i looked and he was gone. everyone that was out there biking were so nice! i loved every part of it.Dan, Jen, and Leah ripped it up. Jen was so nice to come and grab my bike after my first lap when i thought i was going to pass out! i enjoyed the trek tent and the good and off times. the guys pulled off 24 laps in 24 hours thats impressive, something that has not been done before. everyone kept their humor. it wouldnt have been the same without all the people, shaw, peck, crazy carl, matter, doug, jesse, amanda, anne, duece and of course chuckles- marko, Dan, Jen, and Leah. All the others that were there to contribute to the laughter and crazy times!!

congrats to doug and anne on their anniversary, now thats the kind of girl every biking guy wants to marry!

ah its all in the family.

2007-07-19T20:33:00.001-07:00

so lots have happened since last friday. mark gained a sister in law. i gained a new family member karin, james' lover. i caught a bouquet. i had four cosmopolitans, danced and became a pro water girl at the wors race. which also smacked me with a wicked burn from the hot hot sun. i started a reason to communicate course, philosophy, where they decided an exam every week and 7 books to read with in 4 weeks. sounds fun huh. work making its way back into my priorities. natedogg stayed at our house and we all consumed too much vino. we are officially winos. exhausted is the word that creeps into my mind more then not. hopefully i will be getting a picture up of the fun events.

24-9 coming up on a team for the twelve hr.

i dont know what i would do if i had time off to listen to life. i would probably have a smile that couldnt fade, no matter what.

times to come.

2007-07-11T14:46:00.000-07:00

m. ward, is the music of choice. the weather has backed down a bit. the cool breeze at night is a feeling i think we all couldnt wait for. times to come are dreams only at this moment. the wind feels as if it is a fall day or what the beginning feels like. fall is a time of year that i cannot get enough of and couldnt be happier then on my bike with a nice wool jersey on. But to not get too far away from reality celebrations are soon to be had, a lovers birthday, a wedding and a race.

i cannot wait.

weary of the bkb.

2007-07-03T07:33:00.000-07:00

tried my hand at a wors race. due to my current state of the so called lack there of money, he decided to pay for me. I thought shit, can i seriously not take him up on this. so mark and i headed to eau claire the next morning bright and early. nerves were actually subsided while excitment took over. my two goals for the day was to not die and not to become paralized. easy right. yeah, so i thought too. I had a good group of fans.. luke, nicole, sketchy, rukus, jesse, mark and so one. it was nice they were planted all over the course. doing well in the first part of the pack till the single threw me every which way. my first big fall that at least comes to mind was when going on a steep down hill in the single track i flew over my bike, bike got wedged into two trees and i nailed the third one. response of viewer, "holy FUCK" "are you alright" my response while trying to unwedge my bike... *UCK". ahh my mom says its un lady like. I said i was pissed. lady like goes right out the door with that factor. i ended in the mist tent was soon handed a nice cold spotted cow. and so was my day. I then became a cheering fan for the lalonde bros and luke(on a cross bike nonetheless) dave corey and derek. Now the boys at the shop cant give me shit. my body proved i tried my damned hardest, my bike shows the love that it was given while heeved every which way. not enough food and too many beers. It was nice seeing the lalonde parents once again. and soon enough with the wedding coming up, which i havent gotten off for yet, but i think i may be "sick" those days. hmmm.

bachlor party headed way last night and mark is feeling the burn this morning. i guess that is what you get when you weigh 136 and have that many shots and beer. cheers to you jesse on your soon celebration.

AND WAY TO KILL IT BOYS. 1&3.

crashed.

2007-06-26T06:47:00.000-07:00

My mac recently crashed, not the happiest camper about that fact. been to the doctor twice now. we shall see is limes disease is swimming in my blood streem. im staying optimisitc. marko has been moving his stuff in the last couple of days. the cats dont know what is going on. sold my bridgestone track bike. sad to see her go. sold nitto jaguar stem and seat post. road bike still 1/3 the way there. missing groupo. sp and saddle. thats it really but i have a feeling its going to take awhile.

some killer biking this past weekend with jesse, marko and rachael at the single speed state champs in WI.

bike kill. bike love.

lalala.

2007-06-19T08:15:00.000-07:00

started summer classes yesterday. going to be a huge cleaning day. need to get a good exercise in also, hopefully. yoga and bike ride tomorrow. longer one. once i sell my bike i am going to get a burley nomad, with the rack. gonna be rad. marko just got hooked up with a bob. lucky son of a. haha. where did the first part of summer go? still wanting to get a kayak we shall see.

new adventures.

2007-06-14T07:15:00.000-07:00

going kayaking! its been around 8 years since i did, in cozumel.

wino.

2007-06-12T18:08:00.000-07:00

pedal rotation in full throttle today. total of seven hours + wine tasting making it a grand total of 8 hours. damn. you should see the tan lines. RIDICULOUS. got lost a number of times. (look at the welcome to sign...opps) other then that really enjoyed myself. took the 520 out. nice and hilly. brought three bottles of wine home to seal the deal. exhausted. but smiling. legs are getting stronger as i dont struggle on the hills much.

the pictures kind of sum up my day, sometimes words just arent needed. you know the feeling.

i think i will be making this trip a regualr time! but maybe not getting lost in there multiple times.

to the vino.

2007-06-12T07:39:00.001-07:00

biking to the vineyard. cant think of much more that i want to do in one day. bike, taste wine, buy wine. bike. sunshine. touring bike. arkel panniers. roses maybe, flowers. so excited!

goodies.

2007-06-11T19:02:00.001-07:00

thrashed.

2007-06-10T14:14:00.000-07:00

my legs hate me right now. especially my hamstrings. good ride though. a beautiful day.

where the bike love is.

2007-06-10T05:55:00.000-07:00

been trying to ride more & more. main goal for the summer is to get in really good shape. mtbing racing is for fun if good results come a plus. got the bkb kits early due to family hook up. sexy as hell. i got a jacket which is going to keep me real toasty in the winter. the bibs are fucking sweet. nice chamois! full sip long and short jerseys. vest is sick. i dont think i could be happier, unless i bought more. ha. $$. gonna meet some people for a nice long steady ride. spinning. get the endurance up. i havent used my CAR in about three or four weeks now. it feels great. i am thinking about selling it. i dont need that. and then getting a burly nomad and a co motion. ha. and saving money. we'll see if that happens. i hope so.

thanks to jesse for organizing the kits so quickly since i have been ready since last year! ha.

i love this thing called biking!!

off to do some yoga poses so my back doesnt tighten up again.

even if you dont.

2007-06-06T18:57:00.000-07:00

went for a long hilly ride yesterday. 9-3. about six hours and 80 miles. got out near blue mounds and black earth and did a little loop in iowa county. since i am in an indeed s-l-o-w process of building up my steel roadie. my friend was nice enough to offer titanium over my converted cross aluminum bike. only unfortunate thing was, 1- new saddle, 2- saddle was too far back on the rails so i got a wicked hamstring work out. which ended up thrashing my back. making stops every 30 minutes to crack all of my vertebras and pulling out the helpful yoga poses when applicable (last hour &1/2). back still is a bit tight today but my legs feel great. eating like a horse. went for a long walk cause i became bored and new it would be good to loosen my legs a bit today. ran into a friend at a small farmers market. ate some goodies. i tried my hand at making some strawberry jam. we'll see. ha.

have off in the morning tomorrow so hopefully get some ride in. nothing too intense, just good for the legs and getting my bootay in better shape. for me and hopefully the start of the season, for me at least.

annoyances: dog upstairs.
life saver: crocs.

thinking about planning a backpacking trip soon.

the weekends keep getting better.

2007-06-04T06:11:00.000-07:00

headed up to wausau yesterday with the focus full of bike love. boys went and pre rode the course. amanda and i walked around and soon became the food of many mosquitos. headed back to the car. boys came back saying it was going to be a tough course. dinner, hotel, mini wine bottles consumed the rest of the night. morning comes nerves flowed through all of us like surges from electricity. amanda and i became and nervous as the guys were. got a good hand off section. were pretty prepared for the weather. not totally though. sundays have become a notorious rain day. boys go. jesses leading the pack strong and quick as amanda hands a water bottle and almost gets taken down by the guys behind jesse. fuck. wheres mark? he passes and normally doesnt take anything the first lap. i still had something in my hand. he passes... points to his knee and i thought he pointed to his water bottles, or there the lack of water bottles. i almost shit my pants. then i catch him on the other side that swoops through. later amanda tells me that he had blood coming down his knee. sweet. marko always tends to thrash his body. i am just happy i didnt see the spill. keeps going he starts catching other guys. both guys are just hammering. jesse comes through on the third laps and looks like he is in pain. marko comes buy takes water. due to the slippery conditions i almost bit hard but caught myself with my knee. nice. last lap comes and bmatter is in the lead hammering and spinning his shit. were looking for jesse. i see the 29er jersey but the pink helmet. MARKO! hell yeah. he is in second. i was so stoked i was shaking. and so nervous too. damn.

marko take second my 53seconds behind matter. beautiful. a fun wet cold day turned out glorious. jesse made it through bonking pretty much the last lap but still pulled out a finish of 7th. not bad considering a single speed rider pulled everyone the first three laps. hell yeah!

both guys killed it. the bkb way. and 29er skillz.

hoppy beer.

2007-05-31T10:29:00.000-07:00

latley i have been dabbing my hand at making new food creations. Also trying new foods. Oyesters, mussels, duck- ah, it was an intersting time. I have vetoed my car now for about two or more weeks. Fuck the gas prices. with as many bikes as i have and gear i should be able to ride really through anything. AND i also love having the parking spot infront of my house with out getting tickets! ha. parents are finaly both in seattle. which is great! Life seems to get really nice just before chaos is about to come once again. im taking summer courses which is needed to ensure my graduation next spring! which is something i cannot wait for.

for now just breathing and hoping to get in more mountain biking. i just dont want to use my car. this is not the best situation. balls.

groceries

2007-05-23T19:49:00.001-07:00

i halled all of this on my 520. steel is a beautiful thing. i didnt tip over however i should have. pannier on one side, a make shift panier on the other. ( i bought too much shit) a 2.5 gallon on the top of my rack. this rack is only supposed to hold 50. opps. my ortlieb messenger bag chuck full of everything else. including soy sauce and vino. i definitely got some strange looks.

I came home to a cleaning streak. only to find that my mom sent me a gift. a biking sculpture. art+bikes=love.

my house looks amazing. i am happy i biked about an hour and a half at least. goal reached. put my candies on my touring bike. figured out my scewer for my new old man mountain front rack. ARKEL panniers should be arriving soon. mtb'd yesterday and fell in love with biking all over again! oh and swobo does a bum good!

sip of vino for that. cheers.

kettles.

2007-05-22T07:16:00.000-07:00

going to kettles today, for my second mtb ride of the year. hoping now with school done more will be coming! trying a thomson set back to see if that feels better. markos going to show me some of his skillz. super stoked.

pedal and keep going no matter what.

renewed

2007-05-13T18:16:00.000-07:00

a migraine is taking over my body. sewing a giant mustache. trying not to puke. school almost done.

bliss!

IOLA. wors.

2007-05-08T07:27:00.000-07:00

I would be the girl talking to marko with the crooked hand. one on the right.

Iola took place. slept at the cabin and endured too much food. marko saw the after math the next morning. drove up to the race late morning. brought my bike in case i was feeling like i wouldnt mind thrashing my body. ill wait for the second race. ran into many different face the crew just to see the lalondes were the boys parents, amanda, and my parents. my parents were in awe for half the race at least. marko crept up from starting about 15. he ended with a strong 6th. super good marko and nate dogg were pulling back and forth, shit what are friends for? ;) jesse pulling through almost the whole race at about 2nd finish third due to some wicked cramping in the legs. four single speeds in the top 7. that is pretty rad.

looking forward to this weekend and the coming week. im going to try to make it to the kettles and hopefully standing rock. i cant wait to have some time to myself. damn!!

good job everyone that raced! kill it. looking forward to the BKB kits.

i fell in love.

2007-05-05T06:59:00.000-07:00

vanilla can steal a girls heart.

holy my perfection. damn.

heading to wisco rapids after work. race tomorrow. still undecided. but in love.

saver.

2007-05-03T10:41:00.000-07:00

i was just at whole foods who has my whole heart. the thing is people tend to rip on them for takin their whole pay check. not the case if you are a smart and eco friendly shopper and lover. if you buy the 365 product which happens to be a whole food line you save a lot of money they make more money off of those products verses a natures way product. dont get me wrong i love organic & natural everything but some times you have to pick and choose. things are going on sale left and right and you just have to open your eyes to see it. I bought three ecover dish washing soaps because they were on sale at a better price then lets say dawn. so i bought three.

something about buying things that arent going to hurt the planet makes me smile really big.

on the docket for dinner.

organic whole wheat pasta, smart chicken, red peppers, white wine, organic olive oil, artichokes, and more goodies. french baguette.

the crane wife.

2007-05-03T08:14:00.000-07:00

my first good birthday in years. how nice. mark started it off early on tueday with some food making icecream having lovin. super good. got a nice swobo goodie from him with a dirt rag flare. i have so much swobo now i dont know what to do with myself.. the yesterday ran home from marks where it took me 26 minutes not too bad for running only for a week previous, and not to mention i suck at running.
came home was playing with sacha then all of a sudden i could barely move my back. shit. i layed on my side thinking shit i am about to black out, pulled out and called my mom. haha. she starts singing happy birthday and im like hold that thought. pretty shatty but didnt damper my day. school. got a good breakfast. hung out with lisa. did the art thang. found out i did indeed get off work which was gnarly.
i stepped in my door to be greeted by a beautiful bouquet of flowers, tulips-roses-mini roses. made me smile more then i was. then my roommate kirsten got home we dressed up and headed out to dinner to the weary traveler. and i gave myself a haircut in the mean time. Then came home my friend lisa stopped by with a cake called "better the sex", wow! that was an amazing dish!!! it really comes close to the name. then marko came over with a bottle of wine and we just relaxed. He was nice enough to help my back get better.

Hott damn. could this be a good birthday?

ANSWER: yes.
more celebrating this weekend.

four fingered fisherman.

2007-04-30T14:24:00.000-07:00

stoked for the arrival of some swobo goods. (gods) two+ weeks of school left. hoping to get to the kettles this week on thursday. then going to cabin with mark to visit rents and celebrate my birthday with some grilling of amazing food. Then racing the next day. not too sure if i will be racing but if not i will be supporting along with my rents. then more art art art art art art art!

someday the waves.

2007-04-26T07:24:00.000-07:00

poetic thoughts flow when one weeps. the hugs of soothing music makes the breathing pattern happen slower. lilfe comes and goes. we celebrate. somehow we even can continue on. family reunites to celebrate a life now lost. tears swirl down a checks crescent. painting becomes a meditation a way to escape. hugs fill from every which way. words of kindness come. a book will flow into the imagination after such a long absence. to Iowa we venture, so many memories of when I was a little lass. Going to the pool, movies, laughter, card playing. Its just done. done. done. done. done. done. done. done? The cycle of life is something that most fear or try to avoid. why is it when someone is not spirited, we only then see what becomes important. When we have to look into a casket it is then that you realize you never connected with a persons body, but their soul. Because you stand there looking and seeing something so lifeless, that you for 22 years only saw full of life.

it is the soul that holds all the beauty. now the soul has flown away.

Namaste.

off to Iowa today. back sunday.

bye.

2007-04-24T18:57:00.000-07:00

how do you say goodbye?

i love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

grandma guy

The forbidden zone.

2007-04-22T08:23:00.000-07:00

been really busy lately. super excited for the mtb season to come. need some goodies from swobo. hopefully soon. they have lovely shorts. todays forecast looks like it is going to get to 80! damn.

on the docket.
-paper.
-painting.
-8 etchings.
-run every morning.
-another paper 5 pages.
-laundry.
-pay credit card off.
-dry point etching.
- 4 prints of every etching plate for portfolio.
-readings.
-stop animation movie.
-bike.
-swobo buys.
-robots.
-living?

trying to work on my biking short tan.

tonight.

2007-04-20T17:16:00.000-07:00

tonight. the decemberists. cannot wait. literally. got off work a little early which was really nice. did the paoli loop yesterday with mark. my lungs felt it. i blame the mold in our house to my bronchitis last year and my lungs being shatty once again. ran this morning. really trying to get in better shape. for me and for racing.

i have been waiting for this concert ever since nick becker introduced me to them and i say iron and wine for free. tricky tricky.

sold the madone, which is nice to get a right fitting bike finally.

im off to have a lovely glass of red wine.

smiling.

liken to a whisper. liken to a radio.

2007-04-17T17:16:00.000-07:00

today another beautiful day on the weather side. one wakes sleepy as can be. yoga. class. biking. then went for a hike. then biked. then had ice cream. gut rut. come home. warm. still light out! ahhh, so happy. bike is selling on ebay and it had reached its reserve stoked abou that. will be nice for paying some bills off and doing other good things.

word for the day: harmony.

2007-04-15T14:50:00.000-07:00

someone who gives up her life. for months upon months. in a large family, yet does not attend to the other parts of her family. frustrations. the pain increases and the medication levels go up. stronger. making one more numb. to be ready to pass. yet we sit with a bored conversation of nothingness. numb and one frustrated. one longing in a far away unknown wishing to be with their other. to create things many call to be memories. and here i sit, in frustrations of one family trying to cope and another loosing their tightness. frustrations. fuck this shit.

along for the ride.

2007-04-13T08:18:00.000-07:00

finally starting to feel better. only about two weeks later. it could be worse, i suppose. team pic up on bkb site. selling the bike too small for me. need the money more then it sitting on my trainer. back to work after a long and painful absence. changing more ways in my life to be more environmentally friendly!! damn global warming. whose to blame? yeah that is right people. greedy ones. excited to see 50's back in the forecast right as i am turning a wing with illness. missing WA. but will return. excited to start hiking and biking. thats all i have. if you want to help marko out go to his blog. -www.killthedarkness.blogspot.com

cheers.

give a local some lovin.

2007-04-08T06:24:00.000-07:00

marko needs to go to scotland. as you can imagine it isnt the cheapest thing. but with his amount of riding hes been doing and his tactics to kill things, he needs to be there. if any of you who read this can help him out by any amount that would be much appreciated. by him and the ones who know him. and how rad would that be if someone from the midwest dominated? yeah thats what i thought!

im si k. c.

2007-04-07T09:21:00.000-07:00

green tea. throat numbing lozenges. sudafed. urgent care. vitamins. echinacea. tea. tea. tea. pee.

i want to ride my bike.
arrrr.

WA final.

2007-04-04T22:20:00.000-07:00

last day in seattle, wa. wa just in general. ventured about 2 hours north to pick up the fairy to the san jaun islands. hour one way. pretty cool. i guess it is a bit more alive in the summer months. being active everyday had made me itch. been doing yoga, hiking, walking a ton. and wanting my bike more then ever!

really stoked to come home and start kicking the shit outta me. in a postive way. organics.

flight bright and early. mark picking me up. not wanting the cold weather.

going to miss this state, if you have never been please do, it is amazing!

wa. dos.

2007-04-04T06:18:00.000-07:00

went to the zoo yesterday. havent been to a zoo in years. amazing. favorite animal of the day for me was definitely the hippo. went for another hike yesterday, my favorite one. it was super steep, there were hang gliders going off the mountain and the eagles were dancing with the gliders. i am most certainly coming back here maybe in may so i can too hang glide, tandem, with someone that knows what the heck they are doing. got some amazing pics from that. up on thursday or friday.

today comes the fairy ride. to the an island. then back to REI. to buy some trekking poles. then to hike some more. everyone is so friendly here and active. tons of bikers. i applaude them for attacking these hills.

anyways back to the good life.

i hear its snowing in wisconsin. that sucks. i thought i would come home to sunny weather again.

WA.

2007-04-01T15:36:00.000-07:00

hike number one gave its way today. a bit cold. dogs swarm with their active families. its a fantastic place here.

coming up soon.

zoo.
rei more.
underground seattle.
space needle.
trekking poles.

im off to more exploring.

seattle day one!

2007-03-30T15:07:00.000-07:00

arrived in seattle safely, without too many bumps. made an old lady friend. she told me " i could have been her daughter" haha. going to go to the zoo. space needle. art museums. art art art bike store. AHHHH there are frickin cherry blossoms here. i could die happy in one of those trees!

BLISS. more later. i love it here!!