and it all pours out.

lately i have been really excited about my art classes staying focused and even ahead of schedule. which is to say perfection. I started another painting because i was loosing my passion for the huge buddha. I needed to take a break from it. So i did i even didnt go to painting on monday. turned out to be one of the best things for me in that class at least. i went to class and sat there, staring at my painting for a good while, walking about looking at work in the gallery. just thinking out-loud to others and to myself. I cant finish my second painting for critique on monday till this weekend. youll see pics i am sure and understand why. So i sat. kirsten stopped by to be my shoulder to pour on. all my ideas. i even went to the art supply store to buy a new canvas cause all these ideas are flowing. 36x36. (i have decided my biggest challenge this semester in painting is going to be solving the area of the canvas more sucesful.-that is why i bought a suare, i have a hard time with these) anyways. talking to kirsten helped, then she left. i wrote all my thoughts and painting ideas in a note book. Finally i decided to attack buddha once again and at least finish his head. -three feet about. and i did and i decided to take it else where and i think now minus having a silhouette i know exactly what i am doing.

the best part about this all is that i am actually creating stuff that i am happy with even proud of. To do that for me is a challenge. i am someone and probably the hardest critic on my own work. it took until last semester to make something that i love. and i have it hanging infront of my face to prove the point that just keep moving through. most people think art is an easy way out. but most dont understand that you pour your entire self into your work. that it has every ounce of your emotion in it and really just wouldnt exist with out that factor.

....
it is wonderful to finally conquer that bastard that i now love. we'll see what next week brings.