its close.

So close. i am a little nervous, however ready for the end. The trip has been an unexpected ride with going to 4 schools, and pushing in so many classes to just rid myself of this.

ALMOST there.

times through tea.

Today I decided to really clean. That normally means your come upon things in your past that you either put away for a reason, hide, or something that you thought at one moment I will need this or see it as something valuable. Something provoked me to go through my tea box. Yes, I love tea that much. Alone in that one box there were treasures and things one only wishes they do not have to think of again. I found letters I wrote from college. Tea that I shared numerous conversations and depth with. (my favorite teas) Then I found my Zen Dream tea. Which I have had since I was in high school. It reminds me of art class, since that is all I really did. I opened the tin only to find 2 packets left, but the smell brought me back to the moment and place. I closed my eyes and I was there. My Rishi tea brings me to a certain movie. I think of how tea has been a large part of my life. Once I fell for someone cause he offered me tea as a beverage, hot tea... it can do wonders for me.

There is something about the process of the person growing the plant, letting it age to the proper time, then picking it by hand, with love and grace, then choosing the type of tea, then bagging it or having it be loose, then to the person and who they share it with. No wonder the English love their tea as much as they do, its not about just the tea its about the experience. the mood it brings the conversations that occur, the love of connectedness that flows.

Something about process in most things I hold near, and sometimes I think people could appreciate life more if they just think about the things they have and how so many people have been apart of these things.

To you sip your tea.

to top it off I am watching before sunrise. bliss

it will be divine.

it is close, I think i am ready, i am ready. i cannot wait. I will be able to breathe. I am going to kick its ass.



It will simply be wonderful.

the end to a stressful time.



Blissssssssssssssssssssss.

beautiful nostalgia.

my new favorite artist.

JOHN DERIAN

It is what I dream of.

Michi- gan

This past weekend Mark and I went to Michigan, Traverse City. The Iceman was underway and was not so icy, well till the end of the race at least. It was a cold awakening that progressed over the three days. The drive was long but full of things to look at like the beautiful water, trees, and other ridiculous sign-age! It seemed like a good race to bring a dog to but I was empty handed. Maybe next year. We however did miss the dog fair here in WI.

This week has been consumed with wood working, staining, and cutting. Getting ready for the holidays, getting in trouble at work, oops.. it was nothing, but emotions. ha. Trying to kick my project in the ass by getting done quickly!! I hope that it all goes smoothly, it is coming together. Hopefully I can make my little sample pieces into something beautiful. Our house is clean, but not our clothes.

Is snow ah coming?

Ditty Bop

Days fly, with moments that take your attention. As you pass by leaves upon leaves and the oddly warm breeze blows by you, breathing seems a little easier. Sometimes if we are treated well with weather we can actually enjoy what is to come. Truthfully I cannot wait for snow shoeing and I hope that if we have a winter it is worth it. I had one of the best experiences yesterday, I would like to thank Cindy, so barley knows me but went out of her way to give great advise. Thus I met three Newfoundlands and I wish I could really put my elation into words, I was encompassed by three overly smart, knowing beings. It was almost spiritual, it overwhelmed me in a great way, I couldn't stop smiling!

For me I hope for simple things in life.
a garden
a puppy
walking in a field
doing yoga on a rock near water
sipping tea outside looking at mother nature
laughs
being with family
cooking and seeing people enjoy it
creating things
any animal
Just the beautiful life



This weekend will be a road trip to the lonely area of traverse city

Which I must say I am quite excited for.

Dreams

I love that dreams have no hold back. This could be an enjoyable thing or not. I like there there are no boundaries to dreams, who is in it (dead or alive)(if you know them or just have seen them) the places you can go..

My time has been occupied in this. And truthfully it makes me really happy I cannot wait to have one of my own. I cannot wait for mark and I more over!

Starting to take things into my own hand, trying to change the things that do not satisfy my needs. I am speaking up for me.

There comes a time in life where one should not settle, one should explore and take in the beauty this world has to offer. In life family is the most important thing. Really I cannot think of anything more important when it comes down to it.

And I love my almost husband SO much.

loss of words.

As I persue repositioning my priotities your eyes really begin to open. what you want to control to be in your near future, if you will, though control may not be the 'right' wording.

I wish that I could even put it into words.

life is like..

a competition. You never know what you are going to get. women are hard to understand i think in a way we don't even understand ourselves.(at times) and at others we totally 'know' what we think. I have had a life full of dramatic women and have rid myself of that ever since i broke free. However it is hard for 'us' to find women that we enjoy minus all the bull shit. I have always been a fighter and always been feisty. It is something that hockey taught me for ten years. Once that competition was over the pent up aggression was channeled no where. I tries biking to relieve my frustration but have never been great at solo sports.

On the other hand i have a wedding to plan and i think i am the worst bride to go down in history, I never dreamt of my wedding day and how it was going to be but i fantasized about a house and a life their after... isn't that why we get married for the after part? Thus many decision leave me utterly confused and thinking.. elope??

As women we try to feed our souls with things that come in the material sense, if it is bikes, shoes, clothing, or how many men hit on us we tend to feel better about ourselves, but do we really? Insecurities come in and go like we never knew what hit us.

Then you get hit by a friends situation or loosing a child hood animal that you swore could understand you.

Sometimes I feel that I have a sixth sense, with knowing my parents sold their house the morning they got an offer, knowing that my long life friend my beloved dog died.. etc. Sometimes it is something in ourselves that just knows when something catastrophic happened.

In life all i ache for is love, a home that feels like 'home'. Someone and something I am passionate about and family.

Sometimes a good night with beer, wine and friends and family is all you need, only to realise that this will soon be a distant memory and that you should have taken the time to take a deep breath and enjoy the beauty in the moment. I know I can learn from this time and time again and that things in the material sense do not actually make me happy but mask something that needs to be revisited and that we are all unique in our own ways and that no one is 'better' then the other.

that our life could be much harder, difficult and that what we currently have is a beautiful thing.

If we could only open our eyes, and realise we are only in the shadow of our self.

moving on up.

Since the knowing of my friend steve and his condition all I could do was be proactive. I didnt know where to channel my pent up anxiety about my friend and needed to feel like i could do something when we werent allowed to visit him in his condition. Friends, family, cyclists, coworkers, business people, screen printers.. everyone has shown love like you sometime forget can be displayed. It has made the whole process of the situation easier, on everyone. I hope you all know that with supporting Steve and his family he has shown huge strides and progress. I know a thank you is a thank you but if words could go just beyond that and have you all realise that that is the gratitude i have for you all then i could be pleased.

His mom hunted me down with stopping at my old bike shop machinery row and they were helpful enough to tell her where i was. fortunately she found me. It was the first time I met her and she is such a beautiful person. With much talking, her buying a surly cycling cap for steve, and much hugs it was just what the doctors ordered for both of us. She came to say that steve wanted me to visit and he was really excited. Obviously tears could help but come once she left. I was so touched that she sought me out. Today I plan on bowing out od the bike shop a for a while so i can go and get some much needed time in with Steve.

I have a huge box full of goodies with more coming!

Thanks again and thanks to you who have donated to his school fund! You are amazing.

come together!

The beatles said it the best...

Its time to do something selfless for someone that needs to think of themself.

The "Steve Smith Education Fund" has been established at the M&I Bank.

If you choose to help the Smith family, please send a check made payable to the "Steve Smith Education Fund" to:
M&I Bank
Attention: Jan Thurier
1245 Main Street
Stevens Point, WI 54481

Any amount would be more then none!

Thanks for your time and compassion.

shall we end on another beatles note.


Here comes the sun, here comes the sun,
And I say it's all right.
Little darling it's been a long cold lonely winter,
Little darling it feels like years since it's been here.
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun,
And I say it's all right.
Little darling the smiles returning to their faces,
Little darling it seems like it's years since it's been here,
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun,
And I say it's all right.
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes.
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes.
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes.
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes.
Little darling I feel that ice is slowly melting,
Little darling it seems like years since it's been clear,
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun,
It's all right, it's all right.

Lets do something good!

my heros.

help steve fight!

Steve (the one in the cycling cap) is a really great friend of mine from stevens point. He is really really into biking. He is the biker that lives for one more second with the air in his face the pedal rotation in full force and just being free. I know as a large biking community bike support helps in the best kinds of ways. Steve recently got in to a gnarly bike car accident where he was hit by a cement truck in stevens point wi. He is an amazing artist and graphic designer. This accident has broken his neck, fucked up his spinal cord, he has pnemonia in both lungs, facial fractures and a broke arm. His jaw is wired shut and fortunately he wrote some words yesterday. Steve is and always will be one of the best people i know. He is completely himself and doesnt alter it to be someone that he is not.

As i got news of this on this past wednesday I am trying to pull every damn string i possibley can. To have this diagnosis of paralization something that is just a barrier in a course, a rock garden in a mountain bike race, a tight gap in a crit, a wrong turn in an alley cat. He as a passionate biker will not settle and I want to ensure that he knows that the bike world is routing for him and that people believe in him.

If there is any shwag and thing that you all can give up to motivate my "little brother" steve that would be much appreciated. I am going to try to get him sore rad bkb, twin 6 and swobo goodies since those places tend to care about the biking enthusiasts.

Thank you and please do email me if you have anything you would like to give to support steve. he would be stoked about anything bike. email (mm.rutz@gmail.com)

With love and compassion.

meghan

life brings many changes.

Life has many changes that one does not see coming. some come are anticipated but still not realized some come completely from the left field. we stay positive because that is the only truth that we know. With summer starting a graduation somewhat behind us life feels unknown. It has not hit me yet that there is a break and a new life beginning. I have my health and my loved ones and I am grateful for that. Now I have time to go bike to work and enjoy those rides. The farmers market will be my summer high and the new kitchen aid mixer was an unexpected wonderful gift. I stay positive cause that is the only thing that makes hard situations bearable. i try to hang my head high not low. Think about the great possibilities that lie ahead.

Heading to my first wors race of the year was exciting. I forgot what i packed in prep for the boy to hurt himself, stay hydrated etc. After all Amanda and I are professional nutrition givers aka water girls.

With all sorts of family recently in i had a fix of the good ol laughter and love. They headed back to Seattle, park falls, Minneapolis but the time was much needed.

As always i have my biggest fan and supporter mark by my side. i can not even begin to put my gratitude to that man into words. it simply cannot be. when i fall he falls and holds me.

****

un mas.

i would like to thank the fans of my blog.

thank you...

-mark.
-
-

whole wheat bagel and pb.

As of late i have been nothing short of busy. Woodworking, my passion is taking up all of my time. I like it it just sucks that there are other things that also need my time. For instance Economics. As we near the end of the semester everything becomes a blur. wake at nearly 5 in the morning and stay up being busy the whole day till past midnight. my legs kill my wrist has a kink from the orbital sander. some new loves have come into my life, such as polyurathane, steel wool, vino max, my woodworking ninja buddies. I will miss a lot of the grad students that i have become close to. Wood working is one of the most beautiful things. I am rambeling with out it really making sense. It shows a sense of my state as of late. I get to see my family which will be devine. I didnt even get a chance to talk to my friends and family on my birthday this past friday. oh crazy crazy life will there be an end?

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?

to close for comfort.

These days crazy thing occur more often then not. Madison has a good track record for the most part, that doesnt mean that shit cant happen and doesnt. As anyone in the area that watch the news or go online most likely heard of the recent murder on Doty st. The creepy part for me is that that is the apartment that I lived in for a year previously. I had homless people digging through the garbage outside my window at all hours of the day. While biking home from work had crazy's yelling and i just kept pedaling. To know what the place is and have lived their is crazy. To know that a young beautiful girl lost her life thier is even scarier. To know she was one of the groups that came through the house to see if they wanted to rent, is chilling. Its a sad time for madison and an unfortunate one for a woman and her family.

it makes you think..

spinning spinning. and smile.

This past week i was fortunate enough to be in a sunny state of florida. I was with my friend lisa and we went to visit her mama. the week was just what i needed a warm blanket of sun upon my skin the sounds of water. Yoga was the most occuring activity. We went to the everglades and took a venture with the aligators on an air boat. Our gide was a local probably since he was young he was wipping shitties and trying to get us muddy it was more then i expected. check off the life list. A quick drive another day brought us to a beach that wasnt packed with the crazy spring breakers it was relaxing. as i greeted to ocean with spinning with a smile from one to the other i couldnt help myself but feel one with the earth one with myself. I spun with no care of the people around me with no care in the world. I lived in the moment and as i sit here typing i can shut my eyes and fall back to that moment. I had a few moments of silence for the people that have inspired me in my life while standing in the ocean and looking at the sun. I have never had such a serene and spiritual experince in the water. I know why so many people love it so passionately. new ideas for tattoos has sprung. I was greeted when i came back to the midwest with a large snow storm. not what i was hoping for but we have learned to take it day by day.

This break was just what i needed to come back and hammer out my last semester with positive energy.

my goals once i am done, get a puppy, become certified to be a yoga instructor. and live. pictures will come of a african birdie and some puppies.

some where over the rainbow.

In loving memory Gelsy Verna 1961-2008. RIP.

the never ending shit run.

i am exhausted. I wish i could float above all this craziness and breathe.

then to now.

Where my blog has lacked is where my wood creating has flourished. My grandpa is a great carpenter and its something that has been passed down the family, with out one being placed in my fathers generation, Maybe it jumped to me? As I dab my hand in, at creating lighting fixtures and relating it to words I found my inspiration where i normally do, mustaches. It is a mustache sconce. (light fixture that hangs on the wall). With having to mold bend near 20 pieces.. I am ready for the home stretch. This semester is my final semester before I graduate this may. There are mixed feelings.. do i get all i can out of it and have no life (the path i am currently taking) or do I just float on and enjoy my life also... ? That is the question TO BE OR NOT TO BE, is something it always tend to come down to. Shakespeare was a very wise man and very fluid.

The people in your life make or break you and I am fortunate to have surrounded myself with the ones that make you. When i am exhausted and acting fucking nuts they settle me. When i am about to cry because of this or that they make me laugh.

In my area of screen printing -due to my want for spring- I have dabbed my hands in making clothing, mainly dresses, then printing on them for my work. This is a very rewarding way to go about it yet all at the same time consuming.

Currently I have a piece in a gallery, "love is a disease" one of my prints... Very exciting.

as i become closer i will take a venture to a warm state to the South east and be able to wear my dresses and shirts and have the sun lay gently upon my skin.

family root you into a person you are and want to be. They love you no matter their differences. being together gives strength.

dina nina ninah ni nah nooooeeaa

cat clocks

going to start the spring semester and my last semester! cant wait for the future. yoga. dome home. tattoos. life. living. only time will bring me there.

Ionizes & Atomizes

change of the year. change of the job. all comes and all goes. started the new year with a fun bash with fire, beer & wine, make out sessions, skillz that came out of RAD and bikes bikes bikes. What more could one ask for. Two first days at my new job Trek the improvement from my previous is already showing with high beams. And i must say i fucking love it thus far. the people are so into bikes and it makes all the passion seep back in, and this is the slow time of year. My boss is letting me borrow his 1x1 original surly rat ride for the winter for a commuter since the hall is a bit further. Get some fatty tires that dont interfere with the breaks and its go time.